we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
