4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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