My cat gives me a boner
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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