All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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