I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
