1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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