True but thats because hes a fetus.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
