Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
