so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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