i don't like sucking hair
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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