I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
