I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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