I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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