Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my shit smells like andre
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
