PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
