i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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