Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
