every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
