he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
