wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
