He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
