New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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