I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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