we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
