honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
