rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So much rum. So many feels.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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