she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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