Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Drunk is not a location!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
