it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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