chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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