We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize