Im at strip club and am horny
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize