So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
and she was petting her beer can
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
