How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
