I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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