So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
