He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
