Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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