Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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