so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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