so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
