I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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