I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
