I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
