but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
