That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
can u get pink eye on your cock?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
