I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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