I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
