Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
