This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
