he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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