i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
