Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
